Jane writes in with a request:
“I am a mature age fem Uni student[MLitt]/Writer/Poet seeking person/s to share rural acreage in central Queensland. Ph Jane 0749569141”
Then Heidi has a thought:
“Hi, I am a self taught oil artist and wanted to know if anyone knows how to go about having an at home exhibition. thanks Heidi”
Yes folks, these posts are from the National Association of the Visual Arts web site and it’s the place to go to meet like-minded practitioners, art workers and artists who want to know how to “go about” getting an exhibition at a commercial gallery. It’s a helpful community noticeboard for the arts so, instead of ads for lost dogs and lawn mowers for sale, people post requests, announcements and slices of their own home baked theoretical discourse. To wit, this extract from the mind of Jay Wissing:
“As pidgeons be to sculpture, critics, so be it to ARTISTS! Whatever the review? No-matter by who, tell them you’re just getting started! If their reasoning, it seems, be wilder than all your dreams? Bare your arse! State your case!! Ask if they have a freeform handshake? Be political TO the cause, be polite & respect the laws. ART has a language, often HARd TO SPEAK. Not unlike a stutterer, finding his words to place, him, right beside the normal without serving his disgrace! So, to all you ART CRITICS, know words have I, to place you all, before your standing. (FReeForM on your face.) So, if you’re arsked by any of your peers tell them straight, to alleviate their fears – THAT, they have no reason…”
That’s just a small slice of Jay’s thoughts and we urge all readers of The Art Life to take his words to heart.
In a similar vein of “freeform for your face”, we delve into The Art Life mail bag and find that Jacques Delaruelle has advised us (in a friendly spirit of give and take) that we should consider using a hammer when it comes to writing criticism:
“Nietzsche describes philosophy as the art of making nuances, yet he nevertheless recommends the use of the hammer to destroy consensual false evidences. I agree with your nuanced essayistic approach to contemporary art, but please do not give up the hammer! To write something of any worth about ‘art’, whatever the word still may mean, you need a sense of the enemy.”
Never fear Jacques, we live by the sword.
Some weeks ago we noted the amazing fact that Tara D’cruz Noble was a real person and not a fake, made-up name used by unscrupulous internet pirates to sell us cheap Rx and land in Florida. Not long after, Ms D’cruz Noble wrote to us:
“Just had a read of your Not Fake, Actually Real piece and ohhh did it make me giggle! In fact i’m finding it hard to write now. Ok, just wanted to say thanks for the write up and wondered who in fact did the writing? And did you really think my name is fake? Maybe lots of people think that when I email them… oo-er.”
We do the writing and let’s not forget that!
Finally, Silas Hassan of Nigeria writes to us with urgent news of a money making offer too good to be true:
“I am sorry for using this means to contact you but my fax machine has broken down. First I must solicit strictness in this project and your confidentiality. I am Silas Hassan, Vice president of Vaswani Group which include (Honda place, Hyundai Nigeria, Skoda World, Stallion Group and the Volkswagen Centere.t.c. which are all worth $2billion. By now I confirm you would have read about the deportation of the vaswani brothers out of Nigeria on a trumped up allegation of sharp practices. On their behalf, I deny all allegations brought forward…”