The World Game: Fantasy World Cup Comp!

Art Life , Stuff Jun 30, 2006 No Comments

The response to our Fantasy World Cup Competition was terrific. We had a lot of inventive suggestions for football teams of artists, critics and assorted other art world people in various provocative and litigious arrangements. Many of the teams made no reference to art or artists and gave scant regard to the fact that most of the team [if not all] might be dead. Our prospective team managers also seemed to relish the possibility of inter-team rivalries and potential on-field stoushes between players. Andrew Nemeth, for example, proposed a team comprised of the women in Picasso’s life

Goalkeeper: Jacqueline Roque

Sweeper: Olga Khokhlova
Fullback: Fernande Olivier
Centre-back: Carlos Vallentin
Wingback: Gaby Lespinasse

Deep-lying forward: Marie-Therese Walter

Centre midfield: Eva Gouel
Defensive midfield: Francois Gilot
Attacking midfield: Dora Maar

Winger: Georges Braque

Centre-forward: Genevieve Laporte

Reserve: Gertrude Stein

Ballboy: Pablo Picasso

Some say Braque was a ‘girl’, but we’re pretty sure he was a man. Jesse Stein, working hard despite 4am wakeups for matches on SBS, nominated three teams, some possibly meeting in our Fantasy A League later in the year:

Team 1: hommes fous internationaux

Francis Bacon – L Fullback

Jean-Michel Basquiat – Attacking third

Le Corbusier – Midfielder

Clement Greenberg – R Fullback

Jeff Koons
– R Forward

William Rubin – Defensive third

FT Marinetti – Sweeper

Jackson Pollock – L Forward

Diego Rivera
– Stopper

Richard Serra – Goal Keeper

Vladimir Tatlin
– Centre

Team 2: signori grigi

Edmund Capon
– L forward

John Coburn – Centre

James Gleeson – L fullback

Pro Hart (Red Card, no longer playing) – R fullback

Ian Howard – midfielder

Robert Hughes – Defensive third

Terence Maloon – Goal keeper

James Mollison – R forward

Mike Parr
– Attacking Third

Daniel Thomas – Stopper

John Wolseley – Sweeper

Team 3: Woeste Australiërs

(That means Fierce Australians in Dutch, by the way)

Richard Bell – Defensive third

Gordon Bennett – Stopper

Rex Butler – Centre

Alan Cruickshank – R Fullback

Adam Cullen – L Fullback

Andrew Frost – Goal Keeper

John Macdonald – Midfielder

Charles Merewether
– Sweeper

The Kingpins – L Forward, R Forward and Attacking Third

We had a lot of random entries into the comp via Comments. Spiv, our favourite dysfunctional public servant, nominated a team with their positions, but the breadth and depth of footballing talent on display would put this team into serious contention:

Yoko Ono, Rover Thomas, Rodchenko, Munch, Dick Watkins, Malevich, Blinky Palermo, Sonja Svecova, Andy Warhol, Jimmy Page, Johnny Thunders, Sid Nolan, William Faulkner, Ginger Meggs, Jeff Fenech, Martin Sharp, Ralph Balson, Johnny Cash, Pavrotti, Neil Young, Ginger Riley, Jackson Pollock, Micheal Jackson, Vincent Van Gogh, Rembrandt van Rijn and Gunter Christmann!!

The bench – Philip Guston, William S. burroughs, Vicki Papageorgopoulos, Kippenburger, Leon Golub, Spike Milligan, Anna Nicole-Smith, Ad Reinhardt, Barbara Smith, Kazuo Shirago and Alison Knowles.

Pity you can only have 11 players on the field at any one time…. We also were very much taken by C-Diddy‘s team too, but he or she may have some issues with player poaching with Jesse Stein…:

Bas Jan Ader as coach, another veteran dutchman to be the tactical genius behind an aussie team, with Mike Parr as assistant coach, he can give the team earnest and impassioned pep talks, and cut limbs off to scare the troops.

Team as follows:


Patrick Swan, Vicki Papas, The Kingpins


Brian Fuata, Tony Schwensen, Marita Fraser, Soda_Jerk, Michael Moran, Jonno Bailey (fresh from a training sabbatical in scandanavia)


Husseyin Sami, Dan Templeman, Tim McMonagle and Sally Smart and Melody Ellis.


Ella Barclay (sober) and Ella barclay (the other 99% of the time)


Ms&Mr, Sam Smith and Rob McLeish

Water Boy&Girl:


Team Carpenter:

Ricky Swallow

Motivational Banner Maker:

Rose Nolan

Diddy’s team has a lot going for it with fresh talent and chutzpah in the back field. Going on a different tack, Toulouse Le Plot has an “older adults” team with plenty of experience where it counts:


Goalkeeper : Gordon Bennett

Striker : Imants Tillers

Centre Forward : Peter Booth

Deep-lying forwards : Howard Arkley

Winger : Ian Burn

Attacking midfielder : Stelarc

Defensive midfielder : Mike Parr

Centre midfield : Rosalie Gascoigne

Wingback : Gordon Hookey

Fullback : Richard Bell

Sweeper : Susan Norrie

We don’t know how Bennet got in there, but we’re sure he’d be an expert goalie, at least as good as the real thing. Kunia‘s Team Ya Ya drew its talent from across the world and would be a hard beat:

Team Ya Ya

Goalkeeker Christo

Left Back Dianna Arbus

Centre Backs Tracet Moffatt, Rover Thomas

Right Back Whitney Chaddwick,

Playmakers Georgia O’Keefe, Alfred Steiglitz

Wingers John Berger, Michael Riley

Fowards Margaret Preston, Destiny Decon

Reserves: Matisse, Paul Klee, Arthur Boyd

It’s certainly great to see Berger back on the field. [Hopefully he can keep his mind on the ball and not on the private ownership of the field]. Duckypoo tried several attempts at teams, but we liked his last two the best:

An all Aussie Team of Art Dealers ( Mens 11 )

Goalkeeper : Denis Savill
Striker : Anna Schwartz
Centre Forward : Vasili Kaliman
Deep-lying forwards : Nevin Hurst
Winger : Rexy Irwin
Attacking midfielder : Brenda May ?
Defensive midfielder : Bill Nuttal
Centre midfield : Stuart Purves
Wingback : Martin Browne
Fullback : Charles Nodrum
Sweeper : Horst Kloss

Ray Hughes, Sir Frank Watters John Buckley

An all Aussie Team of Art Dealers ( Ladies 11 );

Goalkeeper : Paul Greenaway
Striker : Anna Schwartz
Centre Forward : The Sullivan & Strumpf chicks
Deep-lying forwards : Eva Breuer
Winger : Conny Dietzschold
Attacking midfielder : Jan Minchin
Defensive midfielder : Brigit Pirrie
Centre midfield : Libby Edwards
Wingback : Roslyn Oxley
Fullback : Dr Gene Sherman
Sweeper : Susie Beaver

Interchange: Stella Downer Karen Woodbury Lauraine Diggins

Late nights and too much beer make Duckypoo something-something: unfortunately Frank Watters is not yet a “sir”, Paul Greenaway is a man and Brenda May is a woman. Had these glaring mistakes not been made, the Poo was in serious contention for the prize.

However, it’s a game of two halves, which is a football-esque way of saying that the winner of our incredible prize pack goes to an artist and a great team manager: Alasdair Macintyre. A man with a clear head and a sound grasp of art-football history, McIntyre put together a very classy team with talent, showmanship and quality. We also tip our hats to McIntyre’s gumption in naming the team after himself:

Alasdair Macintyre’s Australian Artist World Cup Soccer team.

Formation: 1-4-4-1

Goalkeeper: Rupert Bunny (chosen to lull the opposition into false expectations for he is anything but, between the sticks)

Sweeper: Sydney Long (Ideal for the “long ball” from the back)

Defense: Lloyd Rees (central defense, and has the towering height to head in a goal from the odd corner-cross)
Leonard Shillam (a rock in central defense)
Danila Vassilieff (Russian born, former Cossack… would you try and get past him?)
William Bustard (not a great defender, but a great name for the crowd to chant, and for the goalkeeper to yell, even when he’s referring to the ref.)

Midfield: Sydney Ball (chose himself)
Charles Condor (swooping in from the wing)
John Peter Russell (continental know how in the mid-field, qualified to play for France, but opted to represent Australia))
E. Phillips Fox (creative core of the mid-field, fox by name…)

Strikers: George Lambert (“energy like a comet”, and “a job-lot Apollo”, if he doesn’t score, who cares? There’s always the glamorous photo shoots!)

Subs: Donald Friend (An extra striker to give Lambert “a friend up front”)
Jeffrey Smart (A late sub, with inside knowledge about the Italian defense)

The Art Life

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